Have you ever been out camping or just in the backyard and built a fire. It's a cool night, the fire is warm and it lights up the area. You can sit there and just stare at the flames and it is as mesmerising as anything in this world.
You sit there and the fire slowly gets lower and lower. At some point there is no flame, just embers. You can watch the embers glow for a long time, sometime brightly and often quite dimly. Every now and then the wind blows smoke your way, not so much as to bother you but just enough to enjoy the rich smell of the the wood.
At some point the fire and all the embers are gone. You go inside and get ready for bed but you rest that night with the visions of the fire and the glow of the embers. You can still smell the smoke and the night air that made such a contrast to the fire. Even though you are no longer near the fire and it does not even exist anymore, it still warms you.
Nonie died last night. As I sat with Sharon and watched Nonie for the last few hours, we had the idea that the end was near. Schedules had been set that assured that Nonie would not be alone until the end. Sharon and I sat there and for long periods of time we really didn't say anything, we watched Nonie.
It reminded me of the campfire. You were warmed by the memory of all the years of Nonie's presences, you had stared for years at the person that she was even after the flames had died down.
I left the nursing home last night knowing that even though Nonie was gone, we will remember her for a long time even after we return to our everyday lives. There will periods of time when we will not think of it, but when we remember the fire that was Nonie, it will comfort us in so many ways.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Excuse me sir, you are really more trouble than your worth
We just got back from having dinner at a fancy mexican place. The name of it is Iguana. Now you know how I love me some mexican. The food was great, the service was very good, and the beer was cold.
Our bill was over $200 and that was not bad for what we had.
Only problem is that we will never go there again. I mean never.
This place has a policy that states that everyone at a table goes on the same ticket. So if L wants to pay with a credit card she can't. And if S doesn't have enough cash then it has to go on hers.
I spoke with the manager and I was very nice, but I let him know that we would not be returning with a group for this reason. He looked at me very blankly and said "I understand sir". Now that satisfied me until I got to the parking lot and came to the conclusion that the translation of "I understand sir" is "Excuse me sir, you are more trouble than you are worth.
If you every eat in my restaurant, if I have one, I can promise you that Jose will split your ticket anyway you want as long as it adds up to the right amount.
adiós
Our bill was over $200 and that was not bad for what we had.
Only problem is that we will never go there again. I mean never.
This place has a policy that states that everyone at a table goes on the same ticket. So if L wants to pay with a credit card she can't. And if S doesn't have enough cash then it has to go on hers.
I spoke with the manager and I was very nice, but I let him know that we would not be returning with a group for this reason. He looked at me very blankly and said "I understand sir". Now that satisfied me until I got to the parking lot and came to the conclusion that the translation of "I understand sir" is "Excuse me sir, you are more trouble than you are worth.
If you every eat in my restaurant, if I have one, I can promise you that Jose will split your ticket anyway you want as long as it adds up to the right amount.
adiós
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Redneck Musings from Wayne
I had a pretty good day today. The idiots at work were mainly under control, the weather was great, and life proved to be full of opportunities. Sure there were the same problems and trials in dealing with sick and dying relatives but we are equipped to deal with those things.
I started a list of things that I believe everyone needs to hear at least once. It is not an all inclusive list but a start:
1) Progress has more to do with direction than with speed.
2) Love can be compared to sand, with both you can carried more with an open hand than a closed fist. Credit to Dr. Paul.
3) I believe that mole' is the Mexican answer for a high fiber diet.
4) This is for the women. If your husband is telling you that God does not want you to dye your hair, but does not have a problem with you shaving your legs, he is trying to save money, not hearing voices.
5) An empty wagon makes more noise than a full one. This was a saying of my 7th grade Civics teacher, Mrs. Olson.
6) I think there are a lot of situations that the following statement works on. "It's just like riding a bull, you are never ready, it's just your turn". Credit Ty Murray
7) We spend a lot of money to get politicians to write laws that we can not understand instead of listening to the 10 that are easy to understand and were given to us by God.
I started a list of things that I believe everyone needs to hear at least once. It is not an all inclusive list but a start:
1) Progress has more to do with direction than with speed.
2) Love can be compared to sand, with both you can carried more with an open hand than a closed fist. Credit to Dr. Paul.
3) I believe that mole' is the Mexican answer for a high fiber diet.
4) This is for the women. If your husband is telling you that God does not want you to dye your hair, but does not have a problem with you shaving your legs, he is trying to save money, not hearing voices.
5) An empty wagon makes more noise than a full one. This was a saying of my 7th grade Civics teacher, Mrs. Olson.
6) I think there are a lot of situations that the following statement works on. "It's just like riding a bull, you are never ready, it's just your turn". Credit Ty Murray
7) We spend a lot of money to get politicians to write laws that we can not understand instead of listening to the 10 that are easy to understand and were given to us by God.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
@FIN
I can remember being in college and taking a course called "FORTRAN". That stands for Formula Translation as best as I remember it. It was much like Basic that was taught in every high school in the 80's.
The thing that I remember about it was that it required you to think of every step in a problem and go through the logic of how to reach the answer. At the end you would tell the computer that this is the end by putting in an "@FIN" statement. This told the computer that we have done all that I wanted, let's pack it up and go home.
I just returned from visiting with my 90+ year old aunt who has had a stroke. She will not eat, she is pretty much unresponsive and really just naps all the time.
Let me tell you about Nonie. She was the first of 3 children born to my grandparents in the early 1900. She worked for the railroad all of her life, well up until she retired. She was married early in life and was abandoned. She rebounded from that and then married her second husband after a courtship that lasted probably 30 years. Well they married after a special decree from the Pope and he died within a year or two.
She stayed unattached until she was in her mid 80s and then she met Lawrence. She moved to the same retirement village as Lawrence and within a couple of month he died.
Now if you read the above, you might think that Nonie would have a chip on her shoulder, she did not. She loved God, church, family and friends. She would laugh and cut up with anyone. Like all people her age she did have a cantankerous side, but she loved life. One day I will share the story of Nonie's Turtles.
Nonie would go on dates with my girlfriend, now wife, when we were dating. She was a Southern Baptist with Catholic overtones. She ordered wine on her grocery list every week and cooked a mean gumbo. She got her moneys worth out of every day until the stroke.
I was sitting with Nonie today and I wondered why we do not have @FIN buttons. We have figured out how to extend life to the point that all we are doing is waiting to die. Nonie is not happy and we are not happy for her. The Nonie that we knew left us a while back.
One day I am going to get the answer to my question, I just hope that I don't have to lay around for long before the one who is in charge, hits my @FIN.
But if I had to guess all of this is to get us ready to live the rest of our lives without our Nonie.
The thing that I remember about it was that it required you to think of every step in a problem and go through the logic of how to reach the answer. At the end you would tell the computer that this is the end by putting in an "@FIN" statement. This told the computer that we have done all that I wanted, let's pack it up and go home.
I just returned from visiting with my 90+ year old aunt who has had a stroke. She will not eat, she is pretty much unresponsive and really just naps all the time.
Let me tell you about Nonie. She was the first of 3 children born to my grandparents in the early 1900. She worked for the railroad all of her life, well up until she retired. She was married early in life and was abandoned. She rebounded from that and then married her second husband after a courtship that lasted probably 30 years. Well they married after a special decree from the Pope and he died within a year or two.
She stayed unattached until she was in her mid 80s and then she met Lawrence. She moved to the same retirement village as Lawrence and within a couple of month he died.
Now if you read the above, you might think that Nonie would have a chip on her shoulder, she did not. She loved God, church, family and friends. She would laugh and cut up with anyone. Like all people her age she did have a cantankerous side, but she loved life. One day I will share the story of Nonie's Turtles.
Nonie would go on dates with my girlfriend, now wife, when we were dating. She was a Southern Baptist with Catholic overtones. She ordered wine on her grocery list every week and cooked a mean gumbo. She got her moneys worth out of every day until the stroke.
I was sitting with Nonie today and I wondered why we do not have @FIN buttons. We have figured out how to extend life to the point that all we are doing is waiting to die. Nonie is not happy and we are not happy for her. The Nonie that we knew left us a while back.
One day I am going to get the answer to my question, I just hope that I don't have to lay around for long before the one who is in charge, hits my @FIN.
But if I had to guess all of this is to get us ready to live the rest of our lives without our Nonie.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
The Aftermath of "The Wreck"
The wreck occurred as predicted and there were many casualties.
The NTSB is not sure how long it will take to come out with the official cause but it is widely suspected that inattention and lack of training contributed to the disaster.
The exact number of casualties are not know at this time due to the great many "Walking Wounded" that left the conflaguration too shocked to do any thing but go home and self medicate. Reports are coming in that indicate the number of innocent bystanders that received minor wounds are surprisingly high.
One of the greatest changes that will occur in the wake of this malfeasance is a broad mistrust of the system that is suppose to protect the public from this type of situation.
The NTSB is not sure how long it will take to come out with the official cause but it is widely suspected that inattention and lack of training contributed to the disaster.
The exact number of casualties are not know at this time due to the great many "Walking Wounded" that left the conflaguration too shocked to do any thing but go home and self medicate. Reports are coming in that indicate the number of innocent bystanders that received minor wounds are surprisingly high.
One of the greatest changes that will occur in the wake of this malfeasance is a broad mistrust of the system that is suppose to protect the public from this type of situation.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
You are cordially invited to a train wreck
Bill Engvall said that he had a guy drive a car that Bill had for sale and then grab the tailpipe. You know the rest, "Damn that's hot!", here's your sign.
I am 51 years old and people still amaze me.
Why do people get tattoos that have stupid sayings? "Country Girl", "Hot Mama", and tribal etchings are much less useful across a girls back than a well printed checker board.
My wife is OK with the fact that I don't have her name on my neck. I don't wear my children's names, maybe I should get a tattoo that has their birthdays, but I never forget their names.
I work with a guy, that if his tattoos were done with a Sharpie it would have taken at least 3.
When I do see a really neat tattoo all I can think about is, would I want to pick a wallpaper for my bathroom that I could never change? Well no I would not.
What is with pierced noses, cheeks, lips, and don't get me started on nipples. Sometimes I get in a hurry in the shower, and I know that I would have to slow down for all of that.
But the biggest thing that I can't figure is how we as a culture have such a disposable attitude toward marriage. And most have got to be caused by people who just didn't stop to think about how permanent it is. Sure you can get out of it but it leaves a mark.
Not being the smartest guy on the planet has it's limitations. But why are people in a hurry to get married if they are convinced that it will last forever.
Colder showers would help. I know that there are exceptions, but not all that many. And don't tell me that living together first would help, the statistics don't support that.
One of the scariest decisions of my life was to have children. People now seem to not even consider that having a kid is a hell of a lot of work and more expensive than owning a boat. Not to mention that they make a lot of noise.
Sure they can be fun and cute at first, but when you don't train them you soon forget all of that. Visiting the kids at the reform school can't be much fun. Why don't you control yourself until you are willing to spend the next 20 years teaching the little animal how to be a human.
What is with people wearing their pants so I can see their underwear? I don't understand that. Anyone that knows me, knows that I can't run very fast, but I can outrun anyone with their pants around their ankles. If you want to look tough you have to be able to fight with both hands and nobody looks tough in their underwear.
I am 51 years old and people still amaze me.
Why do people get tattoos that have stupid sayings? "Country Girl", "Hot Mama", and tribal etchings are much less useful across a girls back than a well printed checker board.
My wife is OK with the fact that I don't have her name on my neck. I don't wear my children's names, maybe I should get a tattoo that has their birthdays, but I never forget their names.
I work with a guy, that if his tattoos were done with a Sharpie it would have taken at least 3.
When I do see a really neat tattoo all I can think about is, would I want to pick a wallpaper for my bathroom that I could never change? Well no I would not.
What is with pierced noses, cheeks, lips, and don't get me started on nipples. Sometimes I get in a hurry in the shower, and I know that I would have to slow down for all of that.
But the biggest thing that I can't figure is how we as a culture have such a disposable attitude toward marriage. And most have got to be caused by people who just didn't stop to think about how permanent it is. Sure you can get out of it but it leaves a mark.
Not being the smartest guy on the planet has it's limitations. But why are people in a hurry to get married if they are convinced that it will last forever.
Colder showers would help. I know that there are exceptions, but not all that many. And don't tell me that living together first would help, the statistics don't support that.
One of the scariest decisions of my life was to have children. People now seem to not even consider that having a kid is a hell of a lot of work and more expensive than owning a boat. Not to mention that they make a lot of noise.
Sure they can be fun and cute at first, but when you don't train them you soon forget all of that. Visiting the kids at the reform school can't be much fun. Why don't you control yourself until you are willing to spend the next 20 years teaching the little animal how to be a human.
What is with people wearing their pants so I can see their underwear? I don't understand that. Anyone that knows me, knows that I can't run very fast, but I can outrun anyone with their pants around their ankles. If you want to look tough you have to be able to fight with both hands and nobody looks tough in their underwear.
Monday, March 2, 2009
The Low Point
Long weeks and longer weekends.
Old and dear family members sick and dying, people making stupid decisions, the fear of upsetting someone freezing everyone into silence, but wait, there is a bright spot. Beth is doing well, AK is happy and pregnant, Jackson thinks that as long as baseball is a game that the world is right, and Libba still lets me stay here. Both girls are married to great guys, and I have a job, at least through tomorrow.
Hey life is good!!!!
I don't know how I will do with this blog thing, but I will give it a try.
Let me ask some questions:
1) If you start any statement with "God told me" is it right?
2) Is it bad to always be looking forward to a day past tomorrow? I know, that needs explaination. Is it bad to be more excited about a time that is months from now, than to be excited about tomorrow?
3) In a close family, is it required that there be some conflict to allow everyone to go on their own path?
4) Does anyone else buy a lottery ticket just for the value of imagining winning?
5) Am I wrong to include quotes from movies and TV shows in the way that I rationalize things, along with scripture and the values that I have been taught?
6) Is it a universial truth that "You can't save them all"?
I think the answers are NO, NO, YES, YES, NO, YES.
The only substantial happiness is from your family and that is where the real grief will come from. Your values need to be rooted in scripture and common sense. At the end of the day, to quote "The Big B", that is where the game is played, all of the other is noise that is happening off the court.
Old and dear family members sick and dying, people making stupid decisions, the fear of upsetting someone freezing everyone into silence, but wait, there is a bright spot. Beth is doing well, AK is happy and pregnant, Jackson thinks that as long as baseball is a game that the world is right, and Libba still lets me stay here. Both girls are married to great guys, and I have a job, at least through tomorrow.
Hey life is good!!!!
I don't know how I will do with this blog thing, but I will give it a try.
Let me ask some questions:
1) If you start any statement with "God told me" is it right?
2) Is it bad to always be looking forward to a day past tomorrow? I know, that needs explaination. Is it bad to be more excited about a time that is months from now, than to be excited about tomorrow?
3) In a close family, is it required that there be some conflict to allow everyone to go on their own path?
4) Does anyone else buy a lottery ticket just for the value of imagining winning?
5) Am I wrong to include quotes from movies and TV shows in the way that I rationalize things, along with scripture and the values that I have been taught?
6) Is it a universial truth that "You can't save them all"?
I think the answers are NO, NO, YES, YES, NO, YES.
The only substantial happiness is from your family and that is where the real grief will come from. Your values need to be rooted in scripture and common sense. At the end of the day, to quote "The Big B", that is where the game is played, all of the other is noise that is happening off the court.
If I do this again, and I make no promises, I will not be so dark. I am a very happy guy. I am just going through a time that requires some reflection.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
