Field Trip

So here is how you promote your mental health in Heflin, Alabama. When you have a chance you go on a Field Trip. I take my inspector with me, He is an Auburn fan but still he is a nice guy. Our first notable Field Trip was to a vineyard in Fruithurst, Alabama. Fruithurst has had vineyards since before Civil War times. This one is owned by a guy who is an American Airline pilot and his cousin. The cousin may have some experience with some other cash crops. They only grow muscadines and they have a winery there. We were given a private tour including a wine tasting. I know it was only 10 a.m. but you have to do what you have to do. They invited us back to watch them harvest the grapes the next week. Here is a video.



Our latest trip was today, we went to Turkey Heaven Mountain. It is a minor mountain east of Cheaha.

Before we got to the mountain we could see it and noticed a house hanging right at the top. We drove up and found the house. It had signs everywhere saying "NO TRESPASS". Well I knew they were talking about other people, not me.

We entered the gate in a stone wall, there was a stone courtyard with several outbuildings. The whole compound sits on 40 acres and is surrounded by retaining walls except where the gate is. The owner came out and was the most gracious host to two uninvited guests.

He is retired military and must have done it well.

It is a multi million dollar home on a multi thousand piece of land with a multi billion dollar view. Here are pictures and they don't do it justice.
















It is their design based off of French farm houses that they saw in Europe while he was in the Army.

They have 2 generators for power in bad weather and the house had to be designed for 140 mile per hour winds due to the elevation (over 1600 feet).

There are fire pits with benches located so that you can sit and look out over the vistas. The owners, the wife came out after a while, were great and I don't know why Southern Living is not knocking on their door.

I am working here but these "Field Trips" keep us sane.

I am not a real FANatic!

I just watched a video of the LSU fans showing up for the game tomorrow.

One of the men was dressed as a cheerleader, I mean a female cheerleader.

Clearly he wins in the race that is decided by, Who will do the stupidest thing in the name of being a fan.

If we win tomorrow, I am very happy. If we lose tomorrow, I am very sad. But no pleated skirt. Sorry Nick.

They call me "Pete"

Lately we have had several conversations about what Hayes should call Libba and I.

We have gone through all of the obvious choices, you know the ones, and I have stated that I think we should let him be the one to decide. Well that might work if anyone would be patient enough for it to happen but we doubt that they will.

I started thinking about names and nickname that I have been called, some of them not flattering, and really don't think that any of them are appropriate for a young man to call his mother's father.

There is a man on my job in Heflin that calls me "Pete". I bet you wonder why. I have not a clue.

One day he called me Pete and I asked if he knew my name and he said "Yeah, Wayne, but you look like a Pete to me".

In the not too far off future Hayes will look at Libba and I and decide what we look like to him. There are many things that would be acceptable to me but I have to tell you, I hope that I don't look like a "Pete".

This has brought me back to my Blog!

I just watched the Lame Kiffin Show. Don't tell me that I misspelled his name, that is his name.

Bitch, bitch, bitch.

The way he got such a good looking wife is that he must do her hair for free. Or he decorates.

TV Guy: Coach why did you kick instead of running another play?

Lame: Well the way that the Refs have been calling the game, I could not take a chance that they would call a penalty that would put us out of range. Or we might have thrown an interception. I could not believe anything good would happen. And Cody took his helmet off. Our kicker does not suck, Cody took his helmet off.

Grow a set. You play this game and every game, like life. You play to win, you don't play to not lose.

Come to think of it, didn't Fat Phil whine? Maybe it is a Tennessee thing.

Hayes is Here!

The laundry list......

>Why is Meredith complaining about how often everybody posts, when she rarely puts up anything new? Come on Mer!

>When we look back on it, does any of the events of the last week really surprise us? She was arrested and her name is different than anything we ever heard.

>Are stupid people naturally lucky? You think about it, there are a lot of lucky, stupid people.

>I am watching "Cops" and hookers in real life are ugly, why are they knockouts on TV shows? What happened to truth in advertising?

>Is Tyler going to have a big breakfast in the morning to celebrate 1 week as a free man?

>I don't want to be around Beth if she does not have DMD. Good luck Billy.

>I can not fix a table that is in Richmond from Tuscaloosa!

>What could I do for a living if I lived in Mexico?

What a difference a day makes!

We got a call Friday night from Bill and Susan asking if we wanted to come to their riverhouse for the 4th.

We went and had a great time, great company, great food and plenty of laughs.

Here are a few fuzzy pics to give you a taste.





I hope everyone had a great day!

What an F-ing week.....

This week has not been fun.

I have known for a while that things where I work were not going well but last week everyone just threw up their hands and said "We give up".

The real problem is not that I don't have a job right this second, but that being used to having a place to go every morning, I don't know what to do with myself. How do you sit at home and look like you are busy enough. At times you just leave so the wife doesn't feel like she has to dust around you.

The good news is that there is a really good chance that I will be hired to finish the job that I was on. The owner and the firm that is in charge of the inspecting of the job want me to finish it. For that I am grateful but these things take a long time to do went you are sitting on your plump backside at home.

I have learned something this week, you really need to be someone with a title. Look at the job openings that are around, Needed Biofeedback Control Auto Industrial Engineer, I don't even know what the hell that is. I know how to do the dirty, unsexy, hot, backbreaking crap that the BCAI Engineer needs done before he gets there. Apparently there are too many of us, or anybody can do that.

So here is the plan, "Grandson, you need a title. "But what will I do Big Wayne?" "It doesn't matter son, get a title to put on the resume. You will be fine."

O.K., all kidding aside, I have always said that a person that wants to work and can work, will not be out of work for long. I still believe that. We will put it to the test and find out. I have sent out many resumes and told everyone that the territory from San Antonio to Richmond is open to me.

All of this and the fact that Obama is in charge gives me great hope. Bye, I have to go take my medication.

The New Driving Test...

Qustion 1: There exist multiple lanes on interstate roadways. The far left lane is for...

a) the use of motorist that have a long way to go. No special purpose or need for getting there just a long way to go.

b) anyone to use so that they can get a better view of the grass on the left side of the road. People with handicap plates are encouraged to use the far left lane.

c) people who have a purpose in their driving. They have somewhere to be and a time to be there. They drive the same on or off of their phone. Their car is capable of going fast and they are capable of controlling it. These people check their rear view mirror to see if some other person of their species is attempting to use the left lane so they can move over and allow passage.

The answer is (c).

If you did not get the correct answer please feel free to attempt to get the right answer in your retest, that will be in 10 years, until then please ride a bike.

Comics go Blogging

I Thought of Beth

Battle Video

The Battle of Richmond, Day 2

Today started with blueberry pancakes, yeah I should have known that it was a setup.

I was put on the sanding detail. Pretty easy until you understand that the sanding detail is where the "short bus people" are put. I did this until I felt that I was ahead of the painting crew enough to not be missed.

Joey was trying out his new yard equipment and I thought that I would help. He looked to be about finished and I thought I could bask in his glory by helping. Well that all changed when the Sargent-Major Audra came through and declared that the job was no where near finished. An hour or so later we passed inspection.

During this work we had at least on neighbor come by and in the course of conversation mention her, "Carbon Footprint".

Libba had declared war on all things growing in the yard so we had to clear all of that up. By this time Joey and I are whacking down anything that gets in our way, even if it is not officially on their property.

At the end of the day we had most things painted and an admirable pile of limbs and junk piled up. One follower of Obama came by and asked if we wanted to hire him to help. The response was short, "Where the hell were you at 8 AM?"

We are now finished, most of us cleaned up, trying to out wait each other on who is going to make supper.

Maybe my camera has enough battery for video.

The Richmond Report

The drive from Tuscaloosa to Richmond is a really nice one, it is long but it is nice. You can compare it to the drive to Austin, but the differences are mainly in the number of a towns/cities that you go through and the type of terrain that you are looking at.

The key to both are the ability to get in the car and "zone out", a self induced numbness is quite helpful.

Joey and Audra's house is really nice, they have their own personal jungle in the back. The painting is really coming together and Audra has most things arranged the way she wants. Her arranging is much like all other women, have you move the furniture forty-twelve times and she picks out her fav.

We went to Trader Joe's yesterday and I like that store. It is where all of the people that were kicked out of Austin for being too weird go to shop. We saw one woman with pink hair, multiple facial piercings, and 40 square feet of tattoos, not so unusual except she looked to be over 30. The store even has it's own brand of beer and wine, how much better does it get?

Audra and Joey found a new bed in the second place they looked, the first place got eliminated for the salesman invading AK's personal space.

We went to a trendy area called "Carytown". Good food, lots of choices, but you have to be careful and choose quickly when Audra is hungry. We ate at a really good Mexican place called "Nacho Mama", yes there really is one.

Now that we have internet I may try uploading a video of all of the work going on.

It is official..........

I hate stupid people. I know, that is not as nice as I should be, but it is the truth.

Have you seen people that have two armloads of tattoos and drive a POS car? Those people are stupid and I hate them.

Have you seen people that are ugly and they are married to ugly people and then they have children? Why do they expect the outcome to be? I hate them.

Have you seen people that hang around people that are bad for them? They make them crazy, make them sad, make them make other people crazy and sad. I hate them.

Have you seen people that clearly don't have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of and they still are smoking $2.50 a pack cigarettes? With their little dirty child sucking on a sugar daddy in the back seat. I hate them.

Here is what we need. Obama can regulate this with no problem with all the other crap that he is doing. We need minimum standards for the IQ and earning capacity of anyone that wants to breed.

I know that sounds harsh, but think about it, it would beautify America.

Did yall know that it gets hot in Alabama?

Yesterday was Saturday and it started off relaxed, L and I ate breakfast, watched Fox, and drank coffee.

Libba had some running around to do and I decided to go out and get ready to go to Audra and Joey's. We had to pack some stuff to take up there and I figured that could things ready while she was gone.

While I was eating and drinking it had gotten hot. Did I say hot, I meant HOT, STICKY, MUGGY, NASTY, AFRICA HOT. I work outside and I don't think that it has been this hot in a while. Maybe it is because I normally get out earlier.

I had dressed to go to Bham and by the time we were ready to go my shirt was soaked and my favorite jockey juniors were plastered to me. No big deal, take a shower and start over.

Within minutes of getting to Bham I had reversed any gains that were made by taking a shower. There was a slight breeze but I told L, "It feels like the breath of Satan".

Four buckets of sweat, 100 trips to the trailer, and 2 beers later we were finished.

On the way home I had time to think, "Why are all of my children moving to places that are just as hot, or hotter than Alabama?".

Do any of you have plans to move to the mountains? Carolina is nice, Colorado is wonderful. No. Richmond, Austin, and San Antonio are all noted for high temps. Help a fat boy out! Sheezh!

Situational Happiness

Many have asked me in the last few days, "Aren't you sad that Jackson is going so far away?".

Well let us look at the past month. We started with a insulting offer from a school that had supposedly been watching J for some time.

Then we cranked up the "Network".

Woody called in some favors and J got a call from a good school with a good program in Mississippi. J worked out for them and was told that he would know in a week.

More than a week went by.

J is in Macon and some of his buddies talk to their coach in Texas. The coach wants to see J.

J gets a call from Mississippi that includes a good offer, but he has committed to a visit to Texas. Note, there was a good reason for the delay in the offer from Mississippi, no problem there, just it caused a delay.

J goes to Texas and comes back with an offer that is dead even or a little better than the school in Mississippi.

So we go from no really good offer to two that are major "Let's get excited" offers.

Now if you were 20, male, and unattached, where would you rather spend the next 2 years? A small town with beautiful limitless acres of soybeans and cotton, or a large city with pro sports and great weather? Did I mention the sunkissed females?

I know what I would have done, I would pick the one closest to Mama. But that is the great thing, He looks farther than that.

Beth will be close.
He starts a whole new network.
He will live in a different part of the country without having to stay there forever.
His resume will look a bit more diverse.
He continues to be looked at by more "Baseball" people.
He is going to a good school.
Mama is only a plane ticket away.

Am I sad that he is tearing at his roots and going so far? Sure. Am I proud that he has the confidence to spread his wings a little farther, you bet!

And remember, if a boy takes a game this seriously, you would think when he competes in the real world, he will take it to a higher level.

I don't think of this as weakening the Woodruff hold on Alabama, but the next step in the Woodruff takeover of Texas.

Why Don't he listen to me?

Years ago I told Jackson that I felt that he needed to learn fluent Spanish.

Did he? No!

Now there are many more reasons why he should learn it:

1) Most of the fast food workers in San Antonio will consider it their first language.

2) Some of the better pitchers in baseball consider it their only language.

3) A lot of the prettiest women in San Antonio will consider it the language of romance.

4) A few of his professors will consider it a second language of the intelligent.

Now are we surprised that he did not listen? NO!

For a different set of reasons, I told Audra that she need to be fluent in Spanish. She did not listen either.

Oh well, I am still looking for a group rate on Rosetta Stone.

Where Did It Go?

There is so much that should be on this page but today the only thing that can be talked about is, Where did it go? Or another way of saying it is, What the hell happened?

I celebrate today 33 years (yes this counts from when we started dating), of more than than I could ever have dreamed of:

More worry, problems, sleepless nights, endless questions, and things to do.

More kids with worry, problems, sleepless nights, endless questions, and thing to do.

More "I want to paint this" and "The yard needs that".

But the thing that that I celebrate more than the others, is that somehow 33 years ago, I was lucky enough to convince a beautiful special lady, that I was worthy of a second look. Was I? Well that is yet to be known. But I will keep trying.

I have told her today by phone, but let this be the equivalent of me shouting from the roof, "I truly treasure my wife!". Not because she is my wife, but because she is Libba.

Where to Start....

Audra and Joey came through Heflin and had lunch with me. It was great! They are closed on their house and everything is on track.

I talked to Jackson and he has prospects for continuing with baseball, including making a trip to Texas that would be close to Beth.

Beth and I talked for a long while about her trip to Alabama and her being the "Responsible One" on Jackson's trip to Texas.

Libba talked to me long enough to let me know that rain still pisses her off and that she will take care of the J situation.

Meredith is going to eat 8 M&Ms.

But I am still in Heflin and the world is still turning.

A Time in the Future

Walking down a path, sun shining, breeze blowing lightly. A small child's hand in mine. Ahead is a park bench. We sit an talk for a while.

The little one asks "Grandaddy, what is the secret to success?"

I think, well I always thought that you just had to work hard. But then I remembered the last 30 years.

"Well son, I hate to put it to you this way. But you have to out work and out smart the bastards. Don't tell mom and grandmother I said that."

The Nerd Family

Well it is official. We are nerdy and totally owning it.

Everyone in our family have blogs:
http://eawkane.blogspot.com/
http://www.libbawoodruff.blogspot.com/
http://rolleaglewartide.blogspot.com/
http://jacksonwoodruff.blogspot.com/
and of course this one.

It is great for keeping up with everyone who is scattered to the four winds but I do have a question.

Is it wrong for me to check Libba's blog to see what is going on with her?

We have discovered a new form of Crack

Several weeks ago we were in Florence and went to a mexican restaurant.

They had a sauce that was out of this world and we asked what it was. Ranch dressing and salsa mixed together. It is wonderful. You have got to try it. We even drained Rotel and used that instead of salsa.

Yesterday I had a dressing on a salad that the place called, "Southwest Sauce". It was great and you know I had to ask what was in it. Ranch dressing and Buffalo Wing Sauce. OMG.

With these two discoveries I may be able to live off of lettuce for the next 6 months.

Life on Automatic Pilot

We got rained out today on my job so I came home.

Now despite my reputation I decided to do some things that are useful, prune the rosemary bush and wash the dog.

The first went well and with no major injuries, the second had it's moments.

Barkley thinks that we bath her to punish her. This is compounded by the fact that the shampoo is in a clear flat bottle and is green.

I grab the clear flat bottle with green stuff in it and start washing the "Bark". Sad news is that this flat green clear bottle had car wax in it.

Oh well, her coat does shine and look at the water bead up on it!

You may be in a small town in Alabama if....

You may be in a small town in Alabama if:

The local high school's prom queen is pictured in the weekly paper weighing in at 185, wearing faux leather, looking like she did her hair with a leaf blower, sporting the name of her biracial child tattooed around her wrist.

If you ever get lost, that is one way to tell where you are

What are they feeding them?

Heflin is a large city, I mean it is a small place but has many large people.

I went to the local Mexican place to celebrate Cinco De Mayo and here is what I saw.

Some days are tough

Yesterday I drove to Heflin and back because it was raining. Should have been able to go home but I am stupid and went by the office. Of course they had something they wanted me to do.

Last night was ok but Libba was gone.

This morning I had to go back to Heflin and started to leave at 5 a.m. and my headlights would not work.

The real trouble was my coffee. After having to use a scoop of flavored coffee to make a pot, I got one large cup down and then found that I had brewed the coffee with a big fuzzy moth floating in the pot.

I may go coffee free for a while.

Little Sayings..

I have spent more time around a ballpark than I ever thought that I would.

The upside to this is that I have picked up Ballspeak that makes sense and a great deal that does not. Some of it you have to really think about to decide with category it is in.

1: "Send it back the way it came", this means you have to deal with what life throws you and make it work.

2: "Use your top hand", meaning: There has to be strength along with guidance.

3: "Watch it all the way to the bat", meaning: You rarely hit your goal if you take your eyes off of it.

4: "Climb the ladder", meaning: You are in a tight, you are going to have to make one good pitch at a time.

But the latest greatest expression is one that I heard from a subcontractor on my job. He was told the following by someone who was saying, "Don't get all worked up over the little stuff". That expression was, "Don't go pole vaulting over rat turds!".

Think about it, it will make sense

What a week!

My week started with a meeting with the Mayor of Heflin. We are doing a project there and the Mayor did not like the job we are doing. Did I mention that the Mayor is a female? She is smart and bright and really more than you imagine for a city as small as Heflin, but a meeting with a Mayor and with my past, a female mayor is stressfull.

I have a sub on the job that is over matched for the job he is to perform. His answer to everything is either get mad and threaten to quit or just don't worry about it. Did I say that there is no pattern to with choice he will make?

I have to go back to Heflin Saturday to work, then to a game in Gadsden, then back to Tuscaloosa. Sunday back to Gadsden, then I guess to Heflin for the whole thing to start again Monday.

Jackson is trying to make a decision about where to go to school next year.

Libba is making travel arrangement for trips to the far north.

Beth is not taking good care of Billy.

Audra is having allergy issues.

I have not seen or talked to Nora.

Grandmother does not remember what I look like.

Where and when does the madness end?

Ok, I am better now. Just had to vent.

I hope everyone had a great week. Hasn't the weather been nice?

Do you know Jackson?

The other day Jackson called me.

Here is the conversation:

J:I'm going to sign a contract to play ball in Georgia for the summer.

Me: Whoa, tell me about it. What does it cost? Where in Georgia?

J: I don't know. I don't know.

Me: Where will you stay? Who pays for travel?

J: I think we stay with families, and I don't know.

Me: Before you do this let me check on it, we need to know about the level of instuction, expenses, where do you play, a lot of stuff.

J: OK but I want to send this in before 2

I look at my watch and it is 12:30.

Now all of you people look at the pictures of me before I had children and with a straight face ask why I have changed so much.

The question is, what to write about.......

Some are bothered that I don't write more often.

I often think of things to write about, but I am conflicted. Do I always rant about things or should I have something uplifting to say?

Topics that have come to mind are:

What good does it do to cut off your leg if it keeps walking up to you?

How the hell do this many stupid people keep figuring out how to have babies?

Why did I end up being the primary caretaker of a dog that I didn't want?

We all text message with LOL, IMO, and other shortcuts. The one that I wish I could send to the world is LMTFA.

If I didn't want the dog, why does she want me?

I don't know. If someone out there really wants me to write then give me a suggestion. I can do something on each of the above but I hate to be such a bitch.

Adam did it with no committee

The Bible says that Adam named all of the animals. Must have taken a little time but he did have God's help. I think God brought all the animals to Adam.

There could have been some discussion but no long debates or the process would still be going on. So clearly it was an efficient system but then we have to remember that Adam did not have a sister or cousins, so there was no volunteer naming committee.

You would think that Adam had it lucky, but remember that the pressure must have been too great because after that he felt like he had to have an apple

Boy am I stupid

Today I heard that the Obama administration had announced that any car maker that accepted a bailout would be prevented from participating in NASCAR.

After some thought and my redneck urge to rebel, I figured that this was the first sane thing I had heard come out of Washington since the change of power.

If a car maker can not show a profit then they don't need to be dumping millions on a sport that does not bring in many millions. And I thought that they don't need to advertise on TV if that is not shown to bring in the bucks.

Further I felt that if private planes, entertainment, CEO salaries, and golf does not bring in profits, then these should not be tax deductible.

Late this afternoon my hopes were shattered, it was all a April Fools hoax. Nothing smart is coming out of Washington.

Sitting around the campfire

Have you ever been out camping or just in the backyard and built a fire. It's a cool night, the fire is warm and it lights up the area. You can sit there and just stare at the flames and it is as mesmerising as anything in this world.

You sit there and the fire slowly gets lower and lower. At some point there is no flame, just embers. You can watch the embers glow for a long time, sometime brightly and often quite dimly. Every now and then the wind blows smoke your way, not so much as to bother you but just enough to enjoy the rich smell of the the wood.

At some point the fire and all the embers are gone. You go inside and get ready for bed but you rest that night with the visions of the fire and the glow of the embers. You can still smell the smoke and the night air that made such a contrast to the fire. Even though you are no longer near the fire and it does not even exist anymore, it still warms you.

Nonie died last night. As I sat with Sharon and watched Nonie for the last few hours, we had the idea that the end was near. Schedules had been set that assured that Nonie would not be alone until the end. Sharon and I sat there and for long periods of time we really didn't say anything, we watched Nonie.

It reminded me of the campfire. You were warmed by the memory of all the years of Nonie's presences, you had stared for years at the person that she was even after the flames had died down.

I left the nursing home last night knowing that even though Nonie was gone, we will remember her for a long time even after we return to our everyday lives. There will periods of time when we will not think of it, but when we remember the fire that was Nonie, it will comfort us in so many ways.

Excuse me sir, you are really more trouble than your worth

We just got back from having dinner at a fancy mexican place. The name of it is Iguana. Now you know how I love me some mexican. The food was great, the service was very good, and the beer was cold.

Our bill was over $200 and that was not bad for what we had.

Only problem is that we will never go there again. I mean never.

This place has a policy that states that everyone at a table goes on the same ticket. So if L wants to pay with a credit card she can't. And if S doesn't have enough cash then it has to go on hers.

I spoke with the manager and I was very nice, but I let him know that we would not be returning with a group for this reason. He looked at me very blankly and said "I understand sir". Now that satisfied me until I got to the parking lot and came to the conclusion that the translation of "I understand sir" is "Excuse me sir, you are more trouble than you are worth.

If you every eat in my restaurant, if I have one, I can promise you that Jose will split your ticket anyway you want as long as it adds up to the right amount.

adiós

Redneck Musings from Wayne

I had a pretty good day today. The idiots at work were mainly under control, the weather was great, and life proved to be full of opportunities. Sure there were the same problems and trials in dealing with sick and dying relatives but we are equipped to deal with those things.

I started a list of things that I believe everyone needs to hear at least once. It is not an all inclusive list but a start:

1) Progress has more to do with direction than with speed.

2) Love can be compared to sand, with both you can carried more with an open hand than a closed fist. Credit to Dr. Paul.

3) I believe that mole' is the Mexican answer for a high fiber diet.

4) This is for the women. If your husband is telling you that God does not want you to dye your hair, but does not have a problem with you shaving your legs, he is trying to save money, not hearing voices.

5) An empty wagon makes more noise than a full one. This was a saying of my 7th grade Civics teacher, Mrs. Olson.

6) I think there are a lot of situations that the following statement works on. "It's just like riding a bull, you are never ready, it's just your turn". Credit Ty Murray

7) We spend a lot of money to get politicians to write laws that we can not understand instead of listening to the 10 that are easy to understand and were given to us by God.

@FIN

I can remember being in college and taking a course called "FORTRAN". That stands for Formula Translation as best as I remember it. It was much like Basic that was taught in every high school in the 80's.

The thing that I remember about it was that it required you to think of every step in a problem and go through the logic of how to reach the answer. At the end you would tell the computer that this is the end by putting in an "@FIN" statement. This told the computer that we have done all that I wanted, let's pack it up and go home.

I just returned from visiting with my 90+ year old aunt who has had a stroke. She will not eat, she is pretty much unresponsive and really just naps all the time.

Let me tell you about Nonie. She was the first of 3 children born to my grandparents in the early 1900. She worked for the railroad all of her life, well up until she retired. She was married early in life and was abandoned. She rebounded from that and then married her second husband after a courtship that lasted probably 30 years. Well they married after a special decree from the Pope and he died within a year or two.

She stayed unattached until she was in her mid 80s and then she met Lawrence. She moved to the same retirement village as Lawrence and within a couple of month he died.

Now if you read the above, you might think that Nonie would have a chip on her shoulder, she did not. She loved God, church, family and friends. She would laugh and cut up with anyone. Like all people her age she did have a cantankerous side, but she loved life. One day I will share the story of Nonie's Turtles.

Nonie would go on dates with my girlfriend, now wife, when we were dating. She was a Southern Baptist with Catholic overtones. She ordered wine on her grocery list every week and cooked a mean gumbo. She got her moneys worth out of every day until the stroke.

I was sitting with Nonie today and I wondered why we do not have @FIN buttons. We have figured out how to extend life to the point that all we are doing is waiting to die. Nonie is not happy and we are not happy for her. The Nonie that we knew left us a while back.

One day I am going to get the answer to my question, I just hope that I don't have to lay around for long before the one who is in charge, hits my @FIN.

But if I had to guess all of this is to get us ready to live the rest of our lives without our Nonie.

The Aftermath of "The Wreck"

The wreck occurred as predicted and there were many casualties.

The NTSB is not sure how long it will take to come out with the official cause but it is widely suspected that inattention and lack of training contributed to the disaster.

The exact number of casualties are not know at this time due to the great many "Walking Wounded" that left the conflaguration too shocked to do any thing but go home and self medicate. Reports are coming in that indicate the number of innocent bystanders that received minor wounds are surprisingly high.

One of the greatest changes that will occur in the wake of this malfeasance is a broad mistrust of the system that is suppose to protect the public from this type of situation.

You are cordially invited to a train wreck

Bill Engvall said that he had a guy drive a car that Bill had for sale and then grab the tailpipe. You know the rest, "Damn that's hot!", here's your sign.

I am 51 years old and people still amaze me.

Why do people get tattoos that have stupid sayings? "Country Girl", "Hot Mama", and tribal etchings are much less useful across a girls back than a well printed checker board.

My wife is OK with the fact that I don't have her name on my neck. I don't wear my children's names, maybe I should get a tattoo that has their birthdays, but I never forget their names.

I work with a guy, that if his tattoos were done with a Sharpie it would have taken at least 3.

When I do see a really neat tattoo all I can think about is, would I want to pick a wallpaper for my bathroom that I could never change? Well no I would not.

What is with pierced noses, cheeks, lips, and don't get me started on nipples. Sometimes I get in a hurry in the shower, and I know that I would have to slow down for all of that.

But the biggest thing that I can't figure is how we as a culture have such a disposable attitude toward marriage. And most have got to be caused by people who just didn't stop to think about how permanent it is. Sure you can get out of it but it leaves a mark.

Not being the smartest guy on the planet has it's limitations. But why are people in a hurry to get married if they are convinced that it will last forever.

Colder showers would help. I know that there are exceptions, but not all that many. And don't tell me that living together first would help, the statistics don't support that.

One of the scariest decisions of my life was to have children. People now seem to not even consider that having a kid is a hell of a lot of work and more expensive than owning a boat. Not to mention that they make a lot of noise.

Sure they can be fun and cute at first, but when you don't train them you soon forget all of that. Visiting the kids at the reform school can't be much fun. Why don't you control yourself until you are willing to spend the next 20 years teaching the little animal how to be a human.

What is with people wearing their pants so I can see their underwear? I don't understand that. Anyone that knows me, knows that I can't run very fast, but I can outrun anyone with their pants around their ankles. If you want to look tough you have to be able to fight with both hands and nobody looks tough in their underwear.

The Low Point

Long weeks and longer weekends.

Old and dear family members sick and dying, people making stupid decisions, the fear of upsetting someone freezing everyone into silence, but wait, there is a bright spot. Beth is doing well, AK is happy and pregnant, Jackson thinks that as long as baseball is a game that the world is right, and Libba still lets me stay here. Both girls are married to great guys, and I have a job, at least through tomorrow.

Hey life is good!!!!

I don't know how I will do with this blog thing, but I will give it a try.

Let me ask some questions:

1) If you start any statement with "God told me" is it right?

2) Is it bad to always be looking forward to a day past tomorrow? I know, that needs explaination. Is it bad to be more excited about a time that is months from now, than to be excited about tomorrow?

3) In a close family, is it required that there be some conflict to allow everyone to go on their own path?

4) Does anyone else buy a lottery ticket just for the value of imagining winning?

5) Am I wrong to include quotes from movies and TV shows in the way that I rationalize things, along with scripture and the values that I have been taught?

6) Is it a universial truth that "You can't save them all"?

I think the answers are NO, NO, YES, YES, NO, YES.

The only substantial happiness is from your family and that is where the real grief will come from. Your values need to be rooted in scripture and common sense. At the end of the day, to quote "The Big B", that is where the game is played, all of the other is noise that is happening off the court.

If I do this again, and I make no promises, I will not be so dark. I am a very happy guy. I am just going through a time that requires some reflection.